


I'm happy at home

by meddowstaylor



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Roger has a little freak out because he is so in love he can't wrap his mind around it, a lot of inner rambling, little anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meddowstaylor/pseuds/meddowstaylor
Summary: "He sips his tea, looks over the set of lyrics in their bassist’s handwriting, a new song that had made Roger throw a fit three days ago, and fixes his on eyes on Brian humming to himself while he bites on the end of a pen. He must have felt Roger’s eyes on him as he stares at him in return, the same tender and adoring look he usually gives him before falling asleep and mumbling “I love you” for the millionth time."Roger and Brian are in love, but working around the domestic aspect of their relationship. Roger feels so strongly that sometimes it takes him by surprise, the feeling so strong he can't explain it or quite get used to it.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52
Collections: Maylor Week





	I'm happy at home

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends! this should have been done a few days ago, but life got in the way. At the end it worked for the better (I think) since I managed to incorporate Making Love + Giving Up Control as prompts.  
> I'm enjoying pushing myself to sit down and write, start to finish, little stories for Maylor Week, and I want to thank you for your kind words about my works.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one! (I know John wrote 'you're my best friend' while at Ridge Farm, but indulge me in changing that fact a little bit)

Roger looks at the sticky note in the fridge, in Brian’s unintelligible handwriting, deciphers it quickly after years of forcing his poor eyesight on scraps of paper laying around the house. They’ve known each other for half their lives and they’ve been in the band and living with Freddie and John now for what seems like an eternity to Roger at points, but the rush of remembering they are dating never quite gets old for him. Sometimes he loses himself in staring at Brian playing his guitar or stretching over on the couch, and Freddie pops up and tells him “You know you get to go over and kiss him now, don’t you? I thought I’d be spared of the longing looks now that you two figured this out”. Roger usually laughs because it’s true, sometimes he forgets he is free to throw himself in Brian’s arms and be hold, to call his name and have him kiss him passionately and play with the necklace around his slender neck, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down as Roger inches closer to him.

Freddie also likes to comment on how familiar they are around each other. It was bound to happen, after years of dancing in circles, they kind of moved past the early relationship awkward phase and settled nicely in the domesticity of sharing their lives together. 

They are also trying to make ends meet and fighting with their record label as well, and sometimes it feels to Roger like they only acknowledge each other as boyfriends in the morning at the breakfast table, go straight into professional mode and then robotically repeat the same routine at night. 

Their night activities have lately changed from hands seeking flesh and heavy breathing followed by biting and release with each other’s name in their lips, to pillow talk making sure to remember notes for recording, reminding to call their respective families and dishing about Freddie and John. More than once they have fallen asleep abruptly, a train of thought cut short by soft snoring.

The apartment is not too big, but it had made sense for the four of them to live together since John had his girlfriend to go to and Freddie was usually going out every night as well. The reality these days was that Veronica’s schedule was so busy at college that John usually mopped around in the living room, coming up with riffs and even writing songs. His own studying took up the table as well, and Brian would join him, while Roger spent his days listening to Freddie’s ideas and focusing on pulling his weight on the band. The space felt crowded, and while they enjoyed the camaraderie that flowed between the four of them, it still resembled their life a year ago, when Brian and Roger were only stealing glances from across the room and forcibly shutting doors when the other one brought a date home.

Freddie had declared peace reining on their household the first day he had caught them kissing in the kitchen, and John had smiled brightly and said “welcome to the club” as Brian chuckled and bit his lip. Roger had in return only glared at Deaky.

Nowadays it does feel like they are ships passing by the coast, comfortable in the shared silence but sometimes sinking in it too. This last week Brian’s usual stress-headaches had chased him off the studio several days, and Roger had poured so much energy in his drumming that when he got home he just threw himself into bed, usually falling asleep with his clothes still on. 

“So, big night tonight?” It’s now Friday afternoon and Brian is feeling better, chopping vegetables and tiding the kitchen as he goes by his cooking. Freddie raises his eyebrows as he asks and grabs a piece of celery from the pile, brian swatting at him.

“We haven’t had a date night in forever. I do appreciate you going to your parent’s house, Fred, since John is spending the weekend at Veronica’s”

“Oh, so ‘date night’ is what you boys are calling it these days. I remember ‘date night’ working perfectly fine for you both in the back of our old van” he winks as he moves along, Brian blushing but keeping his eyes focused on his task.

“Don’t let Freddie get in your head” John chimes in from the living room “I know how hard it can be finding time to be alone. It’s the same for me and Roonie”

Brian smiles at him and knows he can find understanding in John any day, but he doesn’t want to tell him the comparison with him and Veronica would make Roger freak out.

———-

The sex is great, because it always is. At some point Roger was expecting that to dull down, to become repetitive or to not excite him as much. He had resigned himself to being with only one person, but it had never actually felt like a sacrifice. There’s something about their bodies fitting together so seamlessly, about the way their height difference make it so he can tuck his head in the nook between Brian’s shoulder and neck, how he can inhale his scent and draw him even closer and closer, even when they are linked together so intimately, even when Roger’s entire body seems to pull Brian more impossibly in, needing to feel every inch of him to the point where he can’t choke out any words.

There is less fumbling in the dark, adrenaline rushing through his veins, clumsy tugging of belts and pants dropped just above the knee. There is less hiding in restrooms backstage and knocking heads in his car trying to maneuver their bodies. Brian likes to joke that the number of bumps he once had in his head resembled a cratered moon. There should be less novelty, but when Brian has him like this, laying so mercilessly beneath him, when one of his hands snakes through his chest to rest on his jaw and caress the sweat beads off it, when he stops his panting and looks him deep in the eyes with such intensity and in between unintelligible words moans out “I love you”, Roger comes undone quicker than he used to when his boyfriend would pin him against a wall and whisper dirty words in his ear. It’s a feeling so overpowering that Roger gets high off it for a second, but it’s gone just as soon as it took over him. The ringing in his ears suddenly stops, and while he is still in a daze he feels hyperaware of his surroundings, the sweaty bedsheets sticking to his back, the stuffy air filling up the room, the monotone clicking of the ceiling fan. Brian pulls him closer so that they are lying side by side, and a long delicate hand plays absentmindedly with the knots in his blond hair. 

Roger enjoys this. For a moment his heart rate goes down, focusing his attention on Brian’s own pulse. He feels all of the week’s worries go away one by one in sync with Brian’s steady breathing, and just as he is about to doze off Roger feels the urge to get up, jump out of bed. He tries to be as careful as possible as to not wake Brian up, even if his body is screaming at him to get out of the small bedroom, to walk, walk and walk - to run if he can. Since it’s the middle of the night and he is wearing nothing but his underwear, his balcony should do. The moment he steps aside, feels the sting of the cold air in his face and his hands shake while trying to light a cigarette, all he can do is draw in unsteady breaths, trying but failing to count the cars that pass by. First by color, then by brand, and soon all he can do is focus on the lights illuminating the street as they speed past their building.

“It’s been a while since you freak out on me like that”. Roger is startled by the voice behind him, and as soon as he turns he can see the worry on Brian’s eyes. Still, he remains by the door, waiting for any sign Roger might give him that it’s okay to step out. Roger swallows heavily and stretches out his hand, and soon he is leaning against the railing, Brian’s long arms wrapped around his waist and his head resting on Roger’s bony shoulder. As usual, he radiates heat and comfort and familiarity, and that distinct Brian smell envelops Roger. They spend the next few minutes like this, just staring at the street and not talking, Brian drawing random patterns on Roger’s bare waist and Roger completely resting his weight on his boyfriend’s lanky figure.

“That’s… that’s the thing, Bri. I didn’t freak out” Roger whispers, and he is sure if Brian’s ears weren’t as close to his mouth as they were now, it would have been inaudible. Brian doesn’t move, and Roger knows the action is calculated, a learned behavior from years of being friends before lovers, of knowing the slight change may cause Roger to not open up. 

“I should have freaked out. We’ve been dancing around the same routine for weeks now, I’ve fallen asleep with you wrapped around me and when I wake up, guess who’s there?” Roger takes two breaths, then two more and Brian offers, “…me?”

“Yes, it’s you. It’s you in my bed, and you in my car and you in the notes on the fridge reminding me to buy the type of cheese you like”. The grip around his waist loses up a bit, but Roger doesn’t read too much into it. “It’s you all over me and yet seemingly never close enough. It’s you staring at me from across the room, and it’s knowing you won’t need to check on me at a party because you somehow, for some stroke of luck, believe in me and in us” His voice cracks a little and Brian turns him around, and once again, Roger has given into being handled like a rag doll. He doesn’t stand a chance against Brian and his will, and the truth is he never had. He is just accepting his fate now, completely surrendered to it. 

His boyfriend stares at him in the eyes, and although Roger sees confusion in the hazel of them, there isn’t an ounce of judgment or hurt. Giving up control is as hard on Brian as it is on Roger, he knows that, and the fact that he is letting Roger rant and not cutting in with his own thoughts speaks volumes of how their relationship developed. Yes, there isn’t much hurried, impetuous fucking that had Roger cry out loud anymore, but there is a vulnerability both in their bed and outside of it that often leaves Roger trying to come to terms with his own fragility. There is trust shared in the studio and in their house, there is intimacy when it’s just the two of them, shamelessly intertwined in their couch or coyly holding hands beneath the table when they are in public, a personal bubble mostly no one gets to break. It was a long time coming, and deep down it was expected, but it had taken over Roger in such a powerful and complete way, that sometimes it still takes his breath away. 

There are no twists and turns, there are no secrets anymore, they have laid their cards in the table. There’s nothing that can make him run, there’s no other place he’d rather be. He is not the commander of his own ship anymore, because he couldn’t imagine any old sailor’s temptation that could steer him away from these steady waters. 

Brian’s hands find his sides again, and it amazes Roger how there can be electricity shooting down his spine again as soon as skin comes in contact with skin again, his body reacting with such eagerness even if he can still feel the burn of Brian inside him.

“I didn’t freak out. For crying out loud, we had to scheduled sex this week, Bri”. Brian laughs and it’s impossible for Roger to keep from smiling when he sees him like that. “We were a scene out of my mother’s Miss Manners book today. I’m surprised we are lacking the 2.5 kids and the dog”. 

“There’s Fred and Deaky”, Brian chuckles. Roger frowns, tries to show him he is being serious, but he appreciates Brian’s attempt to defuse tension.

“Everything is so planned and steady and … I didn’t freak out”. He moves away from Brian because he knows he hates the smoke directly in his face, and Roger presses his back against the balcony railing once again, pulling out a cigarette from his pack. The pause is inevitable, but It feels like he is trying Brian, seeing how long he can bear with him - with this conversation and with his insecurities. 

“I didn’t freak out, that’s what terrified me”. Roger fixes his eyes on the burning tip of his cigarette, flicks the ashes away. “Friday came around and all I could think about was you cooking dinner for me. Hearing you talk about your day, telling you about the progress I made with the song. Having you hold me so close I felt I could break but knew you wouldn’t let me” Brian seems to not care about the smoke next to him, because he is inching closer and wiping away the tears on Roger’s face.

“This is all I promised I wouldn’t want, the things I mocked in other people’s relationships” in between his crying he laughs, and Brian does too, both of them knowing if it wasn’t such a serious confession, Roger would throw in a joke about John and Veronica. 

“Now it’s not what I want, but what I need. I can’t imagine a life where I don’t have you sitting across the table, where we don’t have vanilla sex and fall asleep before 11”

Brian smiles at him, and Roger realizes he can’t be as crazy as he feels if his boyfriend, his friend, his lover is sporting the same silly expression in his handsome face. They are blissfully in love, and it’s stupid and embarrassing, but it’s now when Roger accepts it. Not when the phrase had slipped out of his lips as Brian was leaving purple bruises in his neck when they were only kids starting a band, not when he had said it to Brian’s sleeping frame as they drove home from a show, not even when he repeated it each morning as Brian put a cup of coffee in his hands and Freddie smiled fondly at the gesture. It was now, knowing there wasn’t a turn back, that he would never be able to hold it back. 

“I would hardly call it vanilla, but duly noted”, Brian smirks.

Roger rolls his eyes. Brian’s lips find his and the last trace of opposition dies inside Roger, the battle completely lost. For two people used to always coming up on top, there’s no defiance or rebellion anymore. 

——-

Morning comes and their little bubble is burst just slightly so, but for as much as they enjoy cuddling and having breakfast in bed, two days apart from their friends also feel like a lifetime. 

John has a similar content smile on his face as they do, and for the first time Roger wonders, without bite or scorn, how hard it must be for him to be apart from Ronnie.

He sips his tea, looks over the set of lyrics in their bassist’s handwriting, a new song that had made Roger throw a fit three days ago, and fixes his on eyes on Brian humming to himself while he bites on the end of a pen. He must have felt Roger’s eyes on him as he stares at him in return, the same tender and adoring look he usually gives him before falling asleep and mumbling “I love you” for the millionth time.

Roger turns to John and offers his friend a conciliatory but truthful smile. “I think you’re right, Deaks, the line is not that bad after all”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit over the place in POVs and tone, but I hope you enjoyed it! Again, thank you for all your comments and kind words, they really make me want to write more and more. If you want to, let me know what you think here or over at tumblr / meddows-taylor
> 
> Happy Maylor Week everyone ♥


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